Missunderstanding
by Emerald Space2
Summary: Mitsui is looking for his balls...?
1. Ball Confusion

Title: Miss-understand-ing  
  
Chapter 1: Ball Confusion  
  
Author: FroZen_FiRe and Emerald Space2  
  
(FroZen_FiRe's name came first on her request. O.o)  
  
Slam Dunk characters © Takehiko Inoue.  
  
Emerald Space2's note: FroZen_FiRe is a friend of mine who has no access to the internet, so she can't have her own fanfiction.net account. Anyway, here is a fan fic we both did:  
  
~  
  
[Setting: Ryonan Court]  
  
Mitsui: Have you seen my balls?  
  
Sendoh: What? Have I seen your what? * blush * Are you serious?  
  
Mitsui: What... serious? * Think... think * No! Not those balls! Da'ohau! Bakarou! You're such a hentai!  
  
Uozumi: Hey, Mitsui! What are YOU doing in Ryonan's court? The practice game will start in half an hour!  
  
Sendoh: Oh, captain! He is err... looking for his balls.  
  
~  
  
(Sendoh goes around and asks everyone if they have seen Mitsui's balls!)  
  
Sendoh: Ayako, have you seen Mitsui's balls?  
  
Ayako: WHAT?! Are you implying that I'm having an affair with Mitsui?! * fumes *  
  
Ryota: [*thinks: Oh no! Aya is having an affair with Sendoh!*] Sendoh? How could you?! * attacks Sendoh *  
  
(No more practice game for Ryonan and Shohoku. Sendoh is injured and can't play, thanks to Ryota)  
  
~  
  
(Sakuragi had overheard Mitsui and Sendoh's conversation and jumped into a conclusion that Mitsui is gay. He goes to the Ryonan court to check it out)  
  
Sakuragi; Wow! I didn't know you were gay, Mitsui!  
  
Mitsui: Now, what are you talking about? AND why are you here?  
  
Uozumi: No! Now, now, what are you BOTH doing in my court?  
  
Sendoh: Like I said, Mitsui is looking for his balls!  
  
~  
  
Uozumi: Akagi, your junior team mate - _the_ MVP - Mitsui is such a hentai!  
  
Akagi: How DARE you say that!  
  
Uozumi: * Rolls eyes *  
  
~  
  
(After a while, Mitsui gave up on searching for his packet of gumballs. Just then, he saw Rukawa picking up his packet of gumballs from the floor, outside the Ryonan's building)  
  
Mitsui: Rukawa! You stole my balls!  
  
Rukawa: Your balls?  
  
Mitsui: Yeah! You're holding my balls!  
  
Rukawa: Finders keepers. Losers weepers.  
  
~  
  
(Akagi and Uozumi overheard the simple conversation.)  
  
Akagi: Mitsui?! * Gulp *  
  
Uozumi: Wow! You gulped! That's first time in history! Anyway, see what I mean.  
  
Akagi: Shut up Uozumi! [*thinks: How can they ............ impossible!*]  
  
~  
  
(Akagi goes to Rukawa and Mitsui who started fighting)  
  
Mitsui: (Still fighting wildly) Rukawa! Hands off my balls!  
  
Rukawa: Do'ahou! No! * Trying to keep the packet of gumballs from Mitsui *  
  
Mitsui: (Spots Haruko nearby) Haruko! Help me grab my balls!  
  
Haruko: !!! * blush * * quickly runs away screaming her head off *  
  
Mitsui: ? Argh, misunderstood again.  
  
Akagi: * punches Mitsui and Rukawa on the head * STOP FIGHTING! Mitsui! How DARE you ask Haruko to do such a thing?!  
  
Mitsui: But--!  
  
Akagi: And Rukawa! How could you do SUCH an OBSCENCE act!  
  
Rukawa: ?  
  
Akagi: Is it true that you both are 'involved'?  
  
Mitsui: [*thinks: Us...?! Involved in an affair?! Ugh!*] * Is about to say something *  
  
Rukawa: [*thinks: Us... involved in the basketball practice game?*] Of course.  
  
Mitsui: No! YOU BAKA!  
  
Rukawa: * confused * Of course we are--!  
  
Mitsui: NOOOOOO! NO! NO! NO! NO! [*thinking: Is Rukawa _gay_?!*]  
  
Rukawa: [*thinks: What?! Mitsui doesn't want us involved in the basketball practice game?!*] Why do you deny it?!  
  
Mitsui: Because it's not true!  
  
Rukawa: It is true!  
  
Mitsui: It is NOT!  
  
Rukawa: It IS true! (Starts fighting with Mitsui all over again)  
  
Sakuragi: (Pops in) Oh, what is true? Is it that I am a tensai? Please don't over flatter me.  
  
Mitsui and Rukawa: SHUT UP DO'AHOU!  
  
Sakuragi: Teme! (Sakuragi was about to join the fight)  
  
Akagi: * Blocks Sakuragi * What is wrong with you all?! You're acting like little brats!  
  
(Rukawa accidentally drops the packet of gumballs)  
  
Mitsui: Argh! You dropped my balls!  
  
Sakuragi: What?! Your balls are inside that packet?!  
  
Mitsui: ? Yeah, duh!  
  
Sendoh: Hey, what did I miss?  
  
Rukawa: Mitsui's balls.  
  
Mitsui: Yes! ...... * think, think * ...... I mean NO!  
  
(Sakuragi picks up the packet of gumballs. He opens it and finds gumballs, duh. He took one out and licked it)  
  
Mitsui: Hey! Don't lick my balls!  
  
Sakuragi: Hey, your balls are delicious! I wonder what will mine taste like..  
  
Rukawa: Do'ahou.  
  
Sakuragi: Kitsune! What about yours?!  
  
Sendoh: Hey, you are forgetting someone very important here..  
  
Mitsui: Sakuragi! Give me back my balls!  
  
Sakuragi: I think you can still 'p' without them!  
  
(Kogure enters)  
  
Kogure: Um... Sakuragi. Those balls... are not the one the ones that you think they are.  
  
Sakuragi: What?! Is it Rukawa's balls then?!  
  
Rukawa: * glares * Hn.  
  
Kogure: No! No! Those are gumballs!  
  
Sakuragi: * drops the packet of gumballs * Oh! * looks shocked *  
  
Mitsui: Noo! You dropped my balls!  
  
Sendoh: I think Sakuragi was actually hoping that those balls were really Mitsui's * ahem *  
  
Kogure: Mitsui always chew gumballs before a game starts.  
  
~  
  
(Ryota appears out of nowhere)  
  
Ryota: Hngh. You just made my Aya-chan walk off.  
  
Kogure: Now, the cloud is clear right?  
  
Sakuragi: Oh, no! Now, now... all this wouldn't have happened if Mitsui just said GUM-balls.  
  
Mitsui: Now, you're blaming it on me, huh!  
  
Rukawa: For once, in a gazillion year, I agree with Hanamichi. So, now, do we start getting involved now or the next century!  
  
Mitsui: No. Never-ever will.  
  
(Sakuragi nudges Mitsui)  
  
Sakuragi: Hey Micchy, you never told me that you were _involved_ with Rukawa!  
  
Sendoh: Interesting....  
  
Mitsui: No! I'm NOT!  
  
Sendoh: Interesting....  
  
(Haruko's sharp ears picked up the words that Sakuragi said about the 'involve'.)  
  
Haruko: Who is involved with Rukawa?  
  
Rukawa: Involved with me? * Blink, blink *  
  
Sakuragi: Don't act dumb, kitsune. This tensai knows it all! Nyahahahahahahahaha!  
  
Rukawa: Do'ahou. * Rukawa finally realized what the 'involve' word was meant for *  
  
Sendoh: Oooh... Rukawa....  
  
(END) 


	2. Ball Censored

* Title: Miss-understand-ing // * Chapter 2: Ball Censored // * Authors: FroZen_FiRe and Emerald Space2  
  
* Slam Dunk characters © Takehiko Inoue.  
  
To unchained: This fic was supposed to be a one shot fic, but since you guys gave such nice positive reviews, we felt we should continue the fic. ~Emerald Space2  
  
~  
  
Sakuragi: Hey Micchy, can I have some of your balls?  
  
(Akagi punches Sakuragi on the head.)  
  
Sakuragi: Teme Gorilla! Why did you do that for?! * rubs his lump on his head *  
  
Akagi: From now on, the word 'balls' is banned! No one in the Shohoku basketball team is allowed to say it!  
  
Sakuragi: So Micchy, can I have some of your gums?  
  
Haruko: * imagines Sakuragi pulling Mitsui's gums out of his mouth * Ewwww....  
  
(Mitsui shows his 'razor sharp' teeth as a warning to Sakuragi...........and)  
  
Mitsui: See this! Do you still want my gums?  
  
Sakuragi: I don't want to see your sharp, demonic, piranha-like teeth Micchy! I just want your gums!  
  
Kogure: Let's not get into a fight now, guys! The basketb-  
  
(Akagi glares at Kogure.)  
  
Kogure: b-b-b  
  
(Akagi glares harder at Kogure)  
  
Kogure: b-b-b  
  
(Akagi glares even harder at Kogure till Kogure shrinks back.)  
  
Kogure: Eh-heh... * sweats * The practice game will start within 2 minutes.  
  
~  
  
Setting: Ryonan's basketball court.  
  
Time: The basketball game has started.  
  
(P.s: Even though Sendoh was injured, he still plays.)  
  
Sakuragi: PASS!  
  
(Akagi passes the ball to Rukawa.)  
  
Sakuragi: !!! Gorilla! Why do you always pass the ball to Rukawa?!  
  
(Akagi glares at Sakuragi.)  
  
[* Ahem, Ahem * PG -13 rating from here onwards.]  
  
Sakuragi: I mean, why do you always pass the orange round thing to Rukawa?!  
  
Miyagi: Orange round thing? You don't mean that... * ahem *  
  
Mitsui: Oranges? Big ones on girls or small ones on guys?!  
  
Sakuragi: Noo! I mean the... the....  
  
Mitsui: The what? The what?  
  
Sakuragi: The round thing! The thing! The aargghh!!  
  
Mit & Miy: ?  
  
Sakuragi: The round orang thing that Rukawa always gets to hold!  
  
Mitsui: He holds or he gropes?  
  
Sakuragi: What is 'gropes'?  
  
Miyagi: Uh... rubbing.  
  
Sakuragi: We only do that when we are cleaning the orange round thing!  
  
Mitsui: 'We'?! You mean you and Rukawa --- ?!  
  
MiyagiL Oh my -- !  
  
Mitsui: Both of you do THAT?!  
  
Sakuragi: * very confused * Ar...? * sees the ball being passed to Sendoh * Oh no! The thing! The thing!  
  
Miyagi: Thing?  
  
Mitsui: What thing?  
  
Sakuragi: Get the thing! * runs towards Sendoh * Get the thing from Sendoh!  
  
(Too late! Sendoh had scored a point for Ryonan.)  
  
Sakuragi: * angry tone * Mitsui, Ryota! Why didn't you help to get the thing?!  
  
Miyagi: Thing...?  
  
Mitsui: What thing? * suspicious *  
  
Sakuragi: You know! The thing! The circular, orange, bouncy thing! Sendoh had it!  
  
Miyagi: Circular... bouncy... orange.... thing?!?! You don't mean that thing...? * mouth hangs open *  
  
Mitsui: And you want us to get it from Sendoh?! * Extremely shocked expression *  
  
Sakuragi: [*thinks: They finally understand that 'thing' is the ball! But why do they look so shocked about it?*]  
  
(But actually, Miyagi and Mitsui thought Sakuragi was talking about something pervertic.)  
  
~  
  
(Uozumi and Sendoh had overheard Sakuragi, Mitsui and Miyagi's conversation.)  
  
Uozumi: Maybe it was a bad idea inviting them for a practice game. And Sendoh, be careful.  
  
Sendoh: What do you mean 'be careful'?  
  
Uozumi: They're after your thing.  
  
~  
  
(Akagi punches Ryota, Mitsui and Sakuragi on the head.)  
  
Akagi: Bakarou! Pay attention to the game! Look at the score!  
  
( Ryonan = 57 , Shohoku = 38 )  
  
Uozumi: Your team is nothing but hentais.  
  
Akagi: How dare you say that!! Shohoku will win!  
  
(Ryonan scores a 3 point shot.... again!)  
  
Uozumi: You were saying? Maybe you're one of them! I'm getting away from you, (as Hanamichi would say it) Gorilla! Hahahahah!  
  
Akagi: .... [*thinks: Psycho*]  
  
~  
  
Ryota: Since Sakuragi is gay, we should start calling him the 'Queen of Rebound'.  
  
(Sakuragi head butts Ryota. Ryota falls to the ground with a lump on his forehead.)  
  
Sakuragi: Shut up you edible frog! This tensai is gay free!  
  
(Rukawa kicks Sakuragi on the butt.)  
  
Sakuragi: Teme kitsune! Why did you do that for?!  
  
Rukawa: Do'ahou! It's irritating to see you guys talk during the practice game while I'm doing all the work! (Rukawa looks very exhausted.)  
  
Mitsui: Aw... Sakuragi, your darling kitsune is very annoyed with you.  
  
(Sakuragi head butts Mitsui. Mitsui falls down next to Ryota.)  
  
Sakuragi: I said this tensai is gay free!  
  
Ryota: * Mumbles * You mean this tensai is brain free. * Stands up *  
  
Mitsui: * Stands up * To come to think about it, I think Rukawa has only kicked Sakuragi's ass.  
  
Rukawa: Hn? * kicks Mitsui's ass *  
  
(A very angry 'gorilla' comes... and....)  
  
Akagi: What are you all think you're doing here? Ryonan is winning, we have to catch up and ... (Sendoh goes near the net) Get the thing! Sakuragi, GO!!!!! Get that 'thing' from Sendoh! Rebound! Rebound!  
  
Ryota: Oh no! Not captain too!  
  
Mitsui: The Gorilla has become a hentai like the 'Rebound Queen'!  
  
Ryota: But why are they both so interested only in Sendoh's 'thing'?!  
  
(Sakuragi manages to get the rebound in time! But Uozumi manages to snatch the ball out of Sakuragi's hands!)  
  
Sakuragi: Argh! Boss ape! I'll get the 'thing' from you no matter what!  
  
Ryota: Okay... so the 'Rebound Queen' is also interested in Uozumi's 'thing'.  
  
(Ryonan has scored again! Time out!)  
  
~  
  
[Akagi has decided to discuss their playing strategy with the Shohoku basketball players.]  
  
Akagi: First of all of our discussion of strategy, we do NOT TALK during a game! No one is allowed to say ANYTHING at ALL!  
  
Sakuragi: But -- !  
  
Akagi: But what?! You guys were having your sweet talk while Rukawa and I had to play against the whole of Ryonan team! Look at Rukawa! He's exhausted already!  
  
Rukawa: Zzzzzzzzz....  
  
Ayako: Oh no! Rukawa! You can't fall asleep now! Wake up!  
  
(To be continued....) 


	3. Date Anyone?

Title: Miss-understand-ing  
  
Chapter 3: Date Anyone?  
  
- How izz the 2nd chap. Compared 2 da first, readers? -  
  
+ We think we prefer the first chapter.  
  
Emerald Space2 thinks: I don't wanna write anymore. I'm starting to become a hentaiiii!!!!  
  
FroZen_FiRe thinks: Oh! 2 you readers who rite VERY super-long stories!!! .... where do you get yer inspiration from? Hentai?? My brains are freezing!! Oh... I think it's frozen. I'm getting more hentai. Poor me! Isk.... isk.....  
  
Emerald Space2 thinks: I'm hentai da be de da be dai, da be dee, da be dai, da be de da be dai... - - ( It's a hymn from "Blue" by Eiffel 65.)  
  
- LOL - Thanx 4 reading! Especially to those who reviewed! We appreciate it! More reviews plz!!! Or else we won't continue! Bwahahahahahhahaha!  
  
P.s: Sorry for the title change. .  
  
***  
  
Fiery Ice: Hey, I'll b in da hosp. 2!! 2 visit u!! Mwahaha! - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p  
  
anime_freak: DARN YOU!!! You are one HAPPIE-hippie reader. Glad you liked it!! Any ideas? - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p  
  
anime_freak: Where do we get these *hentai* ideas...?! Uh... it was inspired by FroZen_FiRe's wax balls. Being my usual stupid self, I thought the wax balls were gumballs and nearly ate it. Anyway, since we originally wanted to do a MYSTERY story, so I said "Have you seen my balls?" And so, we got all hentai, (or at least I did) and started writing. ~Emerald Space2  
  
megane chan: You're a hentai 2?? Wow! LOL - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p  
  
tensaispira: Hey, i thot dat i wuzz de 'tensai' here!! Oh, boy! - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p  
  
Silhouette Panther: Hey.... excusez mua? YOURS is perverted and... *ahem*- ly LOL! LOL! Funny! *LOL* - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p  
  
Shirodachi: If .... Mitchi juzz said gumballs, den I guess you won't go O_o - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p  
  
Super rookie: Glad you liked it :D - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p  
  
unchained: Yers izz not bad 2!! - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p  
  
sLL: Thankies! At least I know I didn't waste my time trying to do the 2nd chapter. How do we do this fic? One hentainess at a time. ~ Emerald Space2  
  
sLL: Yer "Hahaha's" sure is never ending! Hope you'll give some ideas! Our brains are getting' rusty now! - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p  
  
Star of Recca: Unlike some people, I do prefer to stick to the characteristics created by the almighty Takehiko Inoue. Sendoh is not a hentai. ~ Emerald Space2  
  
Star of Recca: Wow! U r de first reviewer!! You have currently won a fire that izz frozen... hahahah! Juzz kiddin'. Thankx. - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p (Emerald Space2 thinks: ............................O.o) * points up to the Emerald Space2 * -- She's crazy - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p (Emerald Space2 thinks: Not like she's any better.) =P - From FroZen_FiRe - ;p  
  
***  
  
I pity the misused words - FroZen_FiRe -  
  
I pity our hentaied brains. ~ Emerald Space2  
  
Emerald Space2: Ee... saya rasa sangat gatal la....  
  
(Everyone stares at Emerald Space2)  
  
Emerald Space2: No-lah! Very itchy! * scratches her head * Itchy....  
  
( People who understand this, plz reply by reviewing or e-mailing emeraldspace2@angelfire.com )  
  
~  
  
Akagi: Shohoku must win!  
  
( Cheers from the basketball players. )  
  
Sakuragi: Let's do it! Show them what we got!  
  
Mit & Miy: Eeww....  
  
~  
  
Time: The practice game continues.  
  
[ Sakuragi is franticly trying to do sign language to Mitsui. ]  
  
Mitsui: * trying to understand the sign language * Put... Sendoh... WHAT?! Sakuragi!  
  
How could you want me to put Sendoh's thing into the hole?! * ducks a Gorilla punch *  
  
[ Sakuragi slaps his forehead. ]  
  
Mitsui: Oh no! Sakuragi, I will not slap the 'thing' on my face! * ducks another Gorilla punch *  
  
[ Sakuragi silently mouths the word 'no' and shakes his head ]  
  
Mitsui: Oh no! Sakuragi, I will NOT do that! I'm getting away from you! * runs to Mr Anzai * Member change! Member change!  
  
~  
  
Time: After the practice match.  
  
Setting: Train carriage.  
  
( The Shohoku basketball players are eating dates - which is a type of sweet mid-east fruit. )  
  
[ Haruko enters. ]  
  
Sakuragi: * Chomp, chomp * Haruko, do you want a date?  
  
Haruko: * blushes * [*thinks: He wants to date me!*] * shy voice * Ok.... * blush * [*thinks: I just realized that I actually like Sakuragi more than a friend! I'm glad he feels the same way--*]  
  
[ Sakuragi gives Haruko a fruit called a date. ]  
  
Haruko: Hm? * blink, blink * * stares at the food that she doesn't recognize *  
  
Sakuragi: You should feel the date if it has a seed.  
  
Haruko: ....? Feel....?  
  
SakuragiL * Nods * When it is in your mouth, you feel it with your tongue.  
  
[ Haruko stares at Sakuragi with bewilderedness and shock. ]  
  
Sakuragi: Argh, I think I swallowed my last date's seed!  
  
Haruko: Sakuragi! How could you do such a thing?! * runs out of the train crying *  
  
Sakuragi: ?  
  
( The train departs. )  
  
Haruko: * sudden realization * Oh no! The train is departing! Stop! Train! Stopppp~!  
  
( In the train -- )  
  
Sakuragi: Don't worry Haruko! I'll stop the train for you! * presses the emergency button and the train stops moving. *  
  
( Haruko was touched by Sakuragi's act of "bravery" and decided to forgive him. )  
  
[ Trainmaster enters the carriage and scolded the Shohoku basketball team. The trainmaster got so mad that Sakuragi was thrown out of the train. Sakuragi and Haruko had to walk all the way back to Shohoku, not knowing that Sakuragi still had a date in his pocket. ]  
  
~  
  
Time: Sakuragi and Haruko walking to Shohoku.  
  
( Sakuragi put his hands in his pocket and found there is one date inside his pocket. )  
  
Sakuragi: Haruko.  
  
Haruko: Yes Sakuragi?  
  
Sakuragi: I only have one date.  
  
[ Haruko thinks: Sakuragi is so sweet and sincere to say that I am his one and only-- ]  
  
Sakuragi: So I'll just break it into half.  
  
Haruko: WHAT?!  
  
Sakuragi: I found one of my dates in my pocket.  
  
Haruko: You don't actually mean that -- [* thinks: Oh my gosh! Sakuragi cuts up the people that he dates and put them in his pocket! * ]  
  
~  
  
Sakuragi: Do you like dates, Haruko?  
  
Haruko: I've never been on a real date before, but I guess I might like dates.  
  
Sakuragi: Huh?! You mean you've been on artificial dates?! [* imgines Haruko stepping on artificial dates. *] But why would you want to be on them?  
  
Haruko: Why would I want to be on a date? Um... * blush * to get to know somebody better.  
  
Sakuragi: !  
  
~  
  
( Sakuragi and Haruko pass by an old woman selling dates. )  
  
Woman: Dates for sale! Dates for sale!  
  
Haruko: Why is the woman selling dates? Are dates prostitutes?  
  
Sakuragi: How could a fruit be a prostitute?  
  
Haruko: Huh? You mean your date is a fruit?  
  
Sakuragi: Hai!  
  
Haruko: What sort of fruit is your date?  
  
Sakuragi: Hah? My date is a date.  
  
Haruko: * blink, blink * * goes to ask the woman instead * Why are you selling dates?  
  
Woman: To earn a living.  
  
Sakuragi: Haruko-chan! Why are you asking that?!  
  
( A happy couple comes to the woman's stall. )  
  
Guy: [ To his girlfriend ] My dear date, would you like a date?  
  
Saku & Haru: Why did you say that?!  
  
Gal: Because I like dates, and my date knows that.  
  
Sakuragi: NANI?! I didn't know dates could think!  
  
Haruko: You already have a date, why would you want another date?  
  
Sakuragi: Haruko-chan, people ask for another date because they are hungry!  
  
Haruko: How can you even think about boiling and cutting up dates and--  
  
Sakuragi: We don't boil and cut up dates.  
  
Haruko: Oh. I nearly thought--  
  
Sakuragi: We eat dates raw.  
  
Haruko: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Guy: You kids seem to have misunderstood each other. You're talking about two different kinds of dates.  
  
Sakuragi: No need to tell this tensai! This tensai knows that date means the fruit and the number of day on the calender! Nyahahahahahahaha!  
  
Haruko: But I thought a date is a meeting for two people to know each other better!  
  
Guy: Alright, alright, there are THREE different meanings for the same word.  
  
Haruko: Ohhh... so date also means a type of fruit.  
  
Sakuragi: Nani?! Why do people invent these meanings to confuse a tensai like me?!  
  
Haruko: Sakuragi-kun, I'm sorry for misunderstanding you.  
  
Sakuragi: Ha... Ha... Haruko-chan.... Nyaha! Don't worry! This tensai is very forgiving! Nyahahahahaha!  
  
~  
  
( End of chappie. ^^ ) 


	4. The Ass, The Stool and The 'Shit'

Chapter 4: The Ass, The Stool and The 'Shit'.  
  
( It was getting late and the train stalled. So the Shohoku basketball team has decided to rent a small, cheap room in an inn. So in the bathroom~ )  
  
[ Mitsui enters. ]  
  
( He sees Rukawa with his head in the sink. The tapwater is left running. )  
  
Mitsui: Rukawa! What are you doing?  
  
Rukawa: * sleepy voice * I'm ... washing my face .... Zzzzz ... and what are you doing?  
  
Mitsui: I'm looking for a piece of sheet. Do you know where I can find one?  
  
Rukawa: * still drowsy * Um... in the toilet bowl.... Zzz.....  
  
Akagi [ diff room ] : * shouting * Mitsui! Where did you go?! Your things are all over the place!  
  
Rukawa: He's looking for a piece of shit.  
  
Aka & Mit & Kog [ diff room ] : ??!!  
  
( Mitsui was busily trying to reach some cloth that was beyond his reach. )  
  
Mitsui: * annoyed and frustrated at failing to get the cloth * Why isn't there any stools here? * grumbles *  
  
Rukawa: Zzz... huh? Oh, because people always flush the toilet.  
  
( P.s: Stool = [1.] stunted chair, [2.] poo-poo )  
  
~  
  
( Sakuragi and Haruko are getting tired from walking. )  
  
Sakuragi: Ore wa tensai! I got an idea!  
  
Haruko: * excited * Sogoi Sakuragi-kun! What is it?  
  
Sakuragi: Let's pick an ass!  
  
Haruko: * startled * Ah... Sakuragi... but that's so....  
  
Sakuragi: Hai! Very tensai! Ore wa tensai! Nyahahahahaha!  
  
Haruko: Uh... * backs away * Hentai....  
  
Sakuragi: Hai! Hai! Ore wa hentai!  
  
Haruko: !!! Sakuragi-kun!!! * storms away crying. *  
  
Sakuragi: Eh? * sudden realisation * No Haruko-chan! I ment tensai! Tensai! * chases Haruko *  
  
Haruko: * sobbing * Sakuragi-kun! For all my life, I always thought you were a nice guy!  
  
Sakuragi: But I am a nice gay! Eh? Nononono! I ment _guy_!  
  
Haruko: But you were actually a hentai! * wails *  
  
Sakuragi: Haruko-chan, that was just the slip of the tensai's tongue. Not all tensai's are perfect, you know.  
  
( A romantic mystical atmosphere surrounds Sakuragi and Haruko. Leaves and flowers magically twirl around them by the soft breeze. )  
  
Haruko: Sakuragi-kun.... * smiles with tears in her eyes *  
  
Sakuragi: Haruko-chan.... * smiles back *  
  
Haruko: Sakuragi-kun.... I ....  
  
Sakuragi: Look Haruko-chan! An ass! * points at a donkey *  
  
Haruko: * closes her eyes * No! I will not look! No! I will not!  
  
Sakuragi: But aren't you tired of walking?  
  
Haruko: Well, yes....  
  
Sakuragi: Are you afraid of asses?  
  
Haruko: Err... not really... but--  
  
Sakuragi: [* thinks: Oh, Haruko-chan is afraid of donkeys! *] Don't worry Haruko-chan! The tensai here will help you!  
  
( Sakuragi brings Haruko to the donkeys that has a sign near them. )  
  
Sakuragi: I will help you overcome your fear, Haruko-chan. Here, stroke the ass.  
  
Haruko: Eep! No!  
  
( Then Haruko spots a sign that says: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? )  
  
[ Haruko looks at the donkey, and back at the sign, the donkey, the sign.... ]  
  
Sakuragi: Um... Haruko-chan?  
  
Haruko: * realises that 'ass' means donkey * Oh Sakuragi-kun! Anata wa tensai! * quickly seats herself apoun on of the donkeys. *  
  
Sakuragi: [* thinks: Wow, Haruko-chan sure overcomes her fear really fast! *] Hai! Ore wa tensai! Nyahahahaha!  
  
~**** Erm, PG-13 from here. Eheheheh... heh....=P ****~  
  
( Kouichiro Nango, the Tsukubu basketball player stopped riding his motorcycle when he spotted Haruko resting near some donkeys. Unfortunately, Sakuragi was with her, so Kouichiro decided to hide in a nearby bush and listen to their conversation, but he can't see their actions. )  
  
Sakuragi: I love you, you little ass! You're the tensai's saviour! Nyahahahahaha!  
  
Kouichiro: ?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Haruko: Isn't my ass nice? See, pat it Sakuragi-kun, the skin is so soft....  
  
Sakuragi: Hai! * nuzzles donkey * Nice to nuzzle your ass! What do you think of mine?  
  
[ Kouichiro clamps both his hands to his mouth. ]  
  
Haruko: Hey, there's something in the mouth of your ass, see if I can take it out. * puts her hand in the donkey's mouth *  
  
[ Kouichiro's face colour turns into a slight shade of sick green. ]  
  
Sakuragi: No, not like that. Let me show you the tensai's way! * puts his hand in the donkey's mouth but the donkey bites his hand * Ah! Ah! Aahh!!  
  
[ Kouichiro starts puking. ]  
  
Haruko: Oh! Your hand is stuck to the ass' mouth! Let me help! * pries donkey's mouth open * Urgh!  
  
[ Kouichiro begins hitting his fists against the ground. ]  
  
Sakuragi: * takes out his sore hands * Ah... that feels much better Haruko- chan!  
  
[ Kouichiro feels slightly better and stops his puking and fist-beating. ]  
  
Haruko: * sees something coming out of the donkey's mouth * Something is coming out! I can see it!  
  
Sakuragi: Ah Haruko-chan! Don't put your fingers in!  
  
Haruko: I can see that it is... slimy... red... and round....  
  
[ Kouichiro starts puking again. ]  
  
Haruko: I can see a stick with it too!  
  
( An apple falls out of the donkey's mouth. )  
  
Haruko: * picks up the saliva-coated apple * Hey, it's quite squishy and soft!  
  
Sakuragi: Oh no! Put it back in! Put it back in!  
  
[ Kouichiro's eyes buldges. ]  
  
Haruko: How?  
  
Sakuragi: * takes apple * Just PU-U-USH it in! Eerghh! * forces apple into the donkey's mouth *  
  
[ Kouichiro's eyes roll back and he faints with a thud. ]  
  
Haruko: What was that sound?  
  
Sakuragi: Oh, must be a cat! Let's slap out asses and be on our way! Nyahahahaha!  
  
~**** end of PG-13 rating ^^ ****~  
  
( Haruko and Sakuragi rode on the donkeys. They arrived in an inn and met up with the rest of the basketball team. )  
  
( End of this chappy! =D ) 


	5. Sex in the Inn

Chapter 5: 'Sex' in the Inn  
  
~  
  
( Kogure hands them each some food. When Sakuragi and Haruko had finished their food, Sakuragi decided to ask for second helpings for themselves. )  
  
Sakuragi: Oi glassman! Haruko and I would like to have secs! [ secs = second helpings ]  
  
Kogure: WHAT?!  
  
Miyagi: Why would you two want to have sex?  
  
Sakuragi: We only had a date!  
  
Miyagi: You had a date with Haruko-chan! Lucky you! I wish Aya-chan and I was... * blush *  
  
Mitsui: Let me see, you two had a date, now you want to have sex?!  
  
Kogure: What?!! You mean Sakuragi and Miyagi had sex?! But....  
  
Mitsui: No! I'm talking about Sakuragi and HARUKO!  
  
Sakuragi: Of course Mitchy! I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to have secs! Don't you want to have secs too?  
  
Mitsui: WHAT?! NO!  
  
( Akagi overheard the conversation and punches Sakuragi. )  
  
Sakuragi: Kuso! What's wrong with having secs?!  
  
Akagi: Have sex with someone else! This is MY imouto!  
  
Sakuragi: Why should I have secs with someone else? I can eat my secs all by myself unless Haruko-chan wants it.  
  
Haruko: ????  
  
[ Waiter enters. ]  
  
Waiter: [To Sakuragi] Here is your secs, sir.  
  
Akagi: You call THAT sex? What kind of sick people are you all?  
  
Sakuragi: S.E.C.S.  
  
( It finally stuck Akagi that secs = second helpings. )  
  
Akagi: Ah, fine. Then you and Haruko can have secs.  
  
Haruko: * angrily * Teme oniican! * storms into a room *  
  
[ Someone screams in the room ]  
  
Haruko: * runs out, blushing * Uh... wrong room.  
  
Akagi: No, I don't mean THAT, my imouto.  
  
Haruko: Why don't YOU do THAT then?!  
  
Akagi: No! I don't mean THAT and YOU shouldn't too.  
  
Haruko: [To Sakuragi] What makes you think I want to have sex anyway?  
  
Sakuragi: Because secs always give a warm feeling of satisfaction inside.  
  
Haruko: !!! We're too young! I mean, who would want to have sex now?!  
  
Rukawa: * yawn * * blink, blink * I don't mind having secs. * goes to Kogure * Got any good stuff left? [ He's talking about food. ]  
  
Kogure: WHAT?!  
  
Rukawa: You know... the white stuff on the thing....  
  
Kogure: Uh?! Oh look at the time! I got to go! Bye! * dashes off *  
  
Mitsui: Just when I thought it couldn't get worse.  
  
Ayako: Rukawa-kun, the 'white stuff' you mean is called 'icing', and the 'thing' is called a 'cake'.  
  
Mitsui: Oh!!!  
  
Haruko: Thank goodness he isn't gay. * relieved sigh *  
  
Sakuragi: * Trying to get Haruko's attention * No-one would want to have secs with this baka kitsune!  
  
Ayako: Ha! Ha! I wouldn't mind! Come one Rukawa-kun, let's have secs.  
  
Rukawa: Yare yare.  
  
Miyagi: Nooooooooo! Aya-chan! * tears start flowing down his cheeks *  
  
Mitsui: Don't you and Rukawa have secs in our inn room!  
  
Ayako: Whatever for? We can have secs here, right now.  
  
Miyagi: Whaaat?! Captain, aren't you going to stop them?!  
  
Akagi: It's just secs, Miyagi.  
  
Haruko: Nani oniican? Are we going to sit here and watch them have sex?!  
  
Sakuragi: Why do you ask that, Haruko-chan? Do you want to join them? * jealous *  
  
Haruko: NO!!  
  
Mitsui: No orgys please! I just want to eat peacefully. [ orgy = group sex ]  
  
Rukawa: * blink, blink * ... ? ... Do'ahou.  
  
Ayako: What's all this about orgys?! * takes out paper fan * * whap, whap, whaps on everyone's head except Akagi * Everyone just sit down and have secs, OK?!  
  
Miyagi: A... A...Aya-chan? * very confused with a lot of mixed feelings *  
  
Akagi: Now everyone listen up!  
  
[ The Shohoku team ignores Akagi and whispers among themselves. ]  
  
Akagi: Bakarou! Listen!! * punches heads and chases screaming members *  
  
[ From outside -- ]  
  
Kogure: Why are there so many screams? Stuff being knocked over. Lots of panting... * gasp * Could it be--?! * eyes widen *  
  
[ Back inside-- ]  
  
Ayako: * looking for the jug of orange juice * Hey, which of you guys here have got the juice?  
  
Miyagi: A... A...Aya-chan? * full of mixed feelings *  
  
Akagi: Listen! Listen at what I have to say! Secs is sometimes used as a short term for SECOND HELPINGS you hentais! It's spelt S.E.C.S!  
  
Miyagi: * becomes normal again * O. I. C. * relieved sigh *  
  
Mitsui: Oh, Miyagi, you were actually hoping to have * ahem * ?  
  
Miyagi: Shut up Hisashi. * crosses arms * Hmph. * blushes *  
  
Haruko: Now I understand, oniican! Sorry for the misunderstanding!  
  
( Later outside )  
  
[ Sakuragi and Haruko were walking together. They were walking pass Kogure. ]  
  
Sakuragi: Great secs huh, Haruko-chan?  
  
Haruko: Absolutely great, Sakuragi-kun! Rukawa got himself a lot of white stuff.  
  
Kogure: * rubbing his eyes * Oh no, what is the world becoming to? * shakes his head * People these days...  
  
Sakruagi: Oh yeah, and also yummy juice. * smiles *  
  
( End of Chapter 5 ) 


	6. Trouble with Tyres

Chapter: Trouble With Tyres  
  
~  
  
Setting: Shohoku, somewhere near a peaceful corridor...  
  
~  
  
Ayako: Yo, Haruko, how was the date with Sakuragi?  
  
Haruko: * Sighs * It was romantic! He was so handsome, I felt I wasn't pretty enough.  
  
Ayako: Not pretty enough? Oh, please Haruko. Look at you! You could be a super-model!  
  
Haruko: * Blushes * Haha... only you would be able to become a hyper-model. You got the tyres for it. * Points at Ayako's boobs *  
  
[ Ayako guffaws ]  
  
[ Ryota enters ]  
  
Ayako: My tyres are flat. They need pumping!  
  
[ Ayako and Haruko laugh and TITter. ]  
  
Ryota: Oh Aya-chan! Do you want me to pump your tyres?  
  
Ayako: Um... no, Ryo--  
  
Ryota: I won't sabotage it! I'll be gentle, I swear!  
  
[ Ryota holds Ayako's hands, looks deep into her eyes. ]  
  
Ryota: * sincerely * Have faith in what I can do, Aya-chan.  
  
Ayako: * sweatdrop * Well... Ryota... it's just that....  
  
[ Ryota lets go off Ayako's hands, and gives a desperate look. ]  
  
Ryota: But Aya-chan! I'm capable of pumping tyres!  
  
Ayako: Yeah... BUT....  
  
Ryota: C'mon Aya-chan! Just show me your tyres! There's nothing I can't do!  
  
Ayako: Uh....  
  
Ryota: Absolutely I guarantee it! In fact, by the fact I've done doing you great SERVICE, your tyres will be just like BALLOONS! [ Grins proudly ]  
  
Ayako: ............  
  
Haruko: Miyagi, Ayako-sempai does not have a car---  
  
Ryota: * waves the matter away * Doesn't matter! I'm really good at pumping ANYTHING! It should be easy to pump Ayako's tyres, whether they are branded or not.  
  
Haruko: MIYAGI!  
  
Ryota: Do you want me to pump your tyres too?  
  
[ Haruko screams in horror. ]  
  
[ Sakuragi dashes in. ]  
  
Sakuragi: Haruko! Are you okay? * gives the killer-eyes to Ryota * Don't you ever hurt MY Haruko-san! * starts whacking Ryota *  
  
Ryota: Waiit! Let me explain! Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! * Gets a bruished eye *  
  
Haruko: * clasps hands together and in an innocent tone * Sakuragi-kun, he was not threatening me!  
  
Sakuragi: * drops the bashed-up Ryota * Oh?  
  
Haruko: It's about Ryota misunderstood about Ayako's tyres. He keeps on insisting to pump it---  
  
Sakuragi: Muffin-head is pretty good at pumping. I know. He pumped Youhei's tyres.  
  
Haruko: ..............  
  
Ayako: .....................  
  
Sakuragi: In fact, this tensai would be estactic to help!! NYAHAHAHA!!! Together, Ryota and I would be up and ready to pump anyone's tyres! Nyahahahaa!! You will be 100% satisfied.  
  
Haruko: .................  
  
Ayako: * Whacks Sakuragi and Ryota with her paper fan * Out! OUT! Yah! * whack, whack, whack*  
  
Ryota: Ouch! Ouch! But Aya- OUCH! But Aya-chan! Ouch! Don't you want your tyres pumped??!!  
  
Ayako: NO!  
  
Sakuragi: Huh? But....?  
  
Haruko: You see, the word 'tyres'.....  
  
[ Mitsui passes by. ]  
  
Mitsui: Hey, what's going on here?  
  
Ryota: Aya-chan doesn't want me and Sakuragi to pump her tyres! Ow! Aya- chan!  
  
Mitsui: * in a joking manner * Haha! That's because they only ME to pump their lovely, tender tyres! Haahhahaha~!!  
  
[ Ayako stops whacking Ryota & Sakuragi and looks at Mitsui. ]  
  
Mitsui: Why not Miyagi hold Ayako's tyres, and I'll pump it?  
  
Sakuragi: Hey, this tensai could press the tyres to see if they are hard enough! NYAHAHA!  
  
Ayako & Haruko: .....................  
  
Ryota: Hey! I could do the probing and pressing! You'll burst Ayako's perfect tyres!  
  
Mitsui: Miyagi would surely be flattened by Ayako's tyres once they are all big and bouncy--  
  
Ayako: THAT'S IT! SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!  
  
[ Silence. ]  
  
Haruko: * Bursts out of frustration * The tyres that we were referring to was Ayako's BOOBS you bakas!!  
  
All the guys: ....... OH! * smile * * all glance at Ayako's boobs *  
  
[ Ryota nosebleeds. ]  
  
Ayako: * blush * HENTAI!!!!! You're going to get IT from me!!! YAHHHHHHH!!! * chases after the guy with her paper fan *  
  
** The end? ** 


	7. Birds Should Fly

**Emerald Space2:** I have no idea why, but this website changed so much that I cannot use the same stuff as I did before. So,

1. The _words in italics_ are actually the actions.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Birds Should Fly**

( Setting: Another fine day at the Shohoku School. Shohoku's corridors are filled with lockers. )

**Ryota**: Hey Haruko, why are you all dreamy? Sakuragi is nowhere in sight... (and neither is Aya-chan....).

**Haruko**: I played with Sakuragi's kawaii bird! Kawaii des!!

**Ryota**: Na...nani?! That guy moves fast!

**Haruko**: Moves fast? _Doesn't fully understand_ He walks fast, ne? Anyway, it's Ayako's turn now for his bird.

_Ryota's jaw drops._

**Mitsui**: I never knew Ayako... and Sakuragi were... and you would let her....

**Haruko**: Oh obviously! Girls love to play with birds! Besides, Ayako is my friend. We should share to show that we care! Take turns! _Smiles_

**Ryota**: _Breathing very deeply and fast Gasp Gasp Gasp Grasping his heart like he has a heart attack _This cannot be true! Come, Mitsui, we must investigate! _Grabs Mitsui's wrist and runs._

**Haruko**: Ehh... ja ne!! _Waves and she watches them run away together_

**Mitsui**: Wait! I hear voices from the basketball storeroom!

_Ryota and Mitsui put their ears on the door, and they hear :-_

**Sakuragi**: Ayako, I would like to show you something.

**Ayako**: Oh! What a beautiful bird you have! Hey, why are you keeping it away?

**Sakuragi:** I have to.

**Ayako**: Release the bird! Release it!

**Sakuragi**: Nani Ayako-sempai?! I can't!

**Ayako**: Just do it Sakuragi Hanamichi! I need to see its freedom! How could you lock your bird up and still be the happy-go-lucky genkii way you are?!

**Sakuragi:** Ayako, this isn't right.

**Ayako**: Give it to me!

**Sakuragi:** You... you want to bear the consequences?

**Ayako**: Hai! If I have to! I will!

**Sakuragi**: Alright then. Let's do it. Slowly.

**Ayako**: OooOOooh... Sakuragi-kun....

**Sakuragi:** Such bitter bliss... forgive me Haruko-chan.... I-I am betraying you....

_Back outside:-_

**Ryota**: That's IT! _Bursts into the basketball storeroom angrily._ I'll chop your bird into a million pieces!

**Sakuragi:** AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

**Ayako**: Ryota!

**Mitsui:** Ryota! Come back here! Oh, nevermind!

( Sounds of screams and things being flung violently about the room. )

**Mitsui**: I guess I'd better go.... _turns around_ Ahh!

**Haruko**: Hi Mitsui-sempai!! What's going on in there? _Pushes through Mitsui_ Let me see....

( Sakuragi and Ayako warding off Ryota. The room is messy and there is an open cage. )

**Haruko**:_ In a high-pitched voice_ AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! My BIRD!!!

( Sakuragi, Ayako, Ryota and Mitsui stare at Haruko. )

**Mitsui**: NANI!? Haruko's a MAN!!!

**Sakuragi and Ayako**: NANI!?!

**Ryota**: Gets in between Sakuragi and Ayako Get away from my Aya-chan you gay hentai!

**Haruko**: _Shaking in rage._ What are you talking about?! SAKURAGI!! MY BIRD!! MY BIIRRDDD!! SakuraGIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _Tries to run away but accidentally knocks in Mitsui and falls down, sobbing _My biiiiirrdd....

**Sakuragi**: Ah--ahh--ah! Haruko-chan...! _Kneels down_ I ... I am sorry Haruko-chan!!

**Ryota**: What did you do Sakuragi? Did you cut off her.. er ... his bird? _Believes the bird refers to Haruko's genetial. _

**Ayako**: Whacks Ryota with her fan NO! Ah! I see now! I'll talk to YOU later! _Kneels down to talk to Haruko_ Haruko... I am sorry... I convinced Sakuragi to release the bird you gave him....

_( Mitsui and Ryota thinks: Eeww. )_

**Haruko**:_ Sobs angrily_ But it's not fair! I gave it to him! And he let it go!

**Ayako**: It is free right now, flying in the skies.... _Sweeps her hand dramatically._ Imagine it's happiness as it flies through the clouds.... Free at last! ( Sakuragi was nodding his head in agreement. )

( Mitsui and Ryota are confused. )

**Mitsui:** Wait... how can a little slab of muscle be flying through the air?

**Ryota:** Yeah... unless it is erecting or something.... _Scratches head_

**Ayako:** _Stands back up and whacks Mitsui and Ryota with her fan._ It's a BIRD! An animal! The one that has wings, feathers and a beak!

**Mitsui and Ryota:** Ahhh. _Nods slowly. Smiles sheepishly in finally understanding the truth._

**Mitsui**: Ah.. pointy beak.... _Smiles wider_

**( O W A R I )**

* * *

**Emerald Space2**: Thanks to all the reviews and support given, because I did not actually have any plans on continuing. XD 

Btw, just to let you know, the bird flew away outside before Ryota dashed into the storeroom. And Ryota wouldn't notice anything other than Aya-chan at his moment of fury anyways. XD

* * *

**Additional **

**Ayako**: _Screaming like a banshee as she chases Mitsui and Ryota_ COME BACK HERE YOU HENTAIS!!

**Mitsui**: GOMENASAAIIIIIII AYAKO!!! AAAHHHHHHHH!! Gorilla lady is after us!!!

**Ryota:** Shut up Mitsui!! Don't insult my Aya-chan!!

( Sakuragi and Haruko are watching them running around the corridors. )

**Haruko**: Ah.... look at Mitsui and Ryota... running away together.

**Sakuragi:** Hai... hai.... _Nods head in agreement_

**Haruko**: Looks so romantic. _Sighs _

**Sakuragi: **Hai... _Blinks _Oro?

**THE END!! **


End file.
